Wednesday, July 8, 2009

"Test me in this" says the Lord Almighty

Thomas...our little man. If ever there was a heart of a mother that was stolen by her baby boy, it was mine. My sister has boys that she adores too...sweaty, stinky, edible little boys that she loves to no end. And she has always told me, I hope you get to have one of these someday and you will see. I ignored her because I was too busy putting bows in little girl's hair and picking out sparkly pink shoes for their feet. But then the ultrasound tech said at 12 weeks (yes, 12 weeks)..."uhhh, wow, it's a boy"....and the rest is history.

Speaking of history, I have some to share. Many years ago when I was checking out at a store, a man asked me if I wanted him to tell me what I was having. I was very early pregnant with my first child and though a little strange, I said sure because honestly he seemed normal. He told me I was pregnant with a girl. Then he proceeded to say that I would have 3 children all together, my next would be a girl and then my last would be a boy. Please understand me well, I am NOT superstitious and I am not trying to make this into something that it is not, I am just retelling the event. He was very nice and said he didn't know why he always knew this about pregnant women, he just did and was never wrong. It was what it was, I kind of laughed and went on my way. I never really even thought of it again until after I had my two girls. Kevin and I started joking about it and I kind of became pretty convinced that our last child would be a boy.
Now fast forward to 25 weeks pregnant when the doctors started freaking us out. Thomas was huge, more specifically, his head was huge. His head consistently measured 8 weeks larger than it should. They ran test, after test, after test. We should have bought our own ultrasound machine when I got pregnant, it would have been cheaper. While they were scaring us, God was preparing us. He continued to whisper... "trust me". He gave me a verse that I clung to and am certain God wrote in His book for me..."Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:11. Though the time leading up to his birth was hard, very hard, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wouldn't want to miss out on the blessing of walking by faith, not sight. We just started believing God. We believed that He would throw open the floodgates of heaven if we asked him to. Don't you just love that, "throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that we would not have room enough for it". God's word is so descriptive!

In those few weeks before Thomas was born, I started thinking a lot about that man that told me my last child would be a son. I wonder if he was angel. I wonder if God dropped him from heaven just for a few moments to talk to me and then brought him back home. Probably not, but I am grateful for having met him no matter who he was. That man never told me I would have a healthy boy, just a boy, and that brought great comfort to me through my pregnancy. Healthy or not, I felt like God had told me I would have a son. And because God said it, then I knew however it played out it would be for His glory...and so I had peace. He poured out blessing that we did not deserve, He walked beside us though we sometimes doubted, and He put His arms around me as I lay desperately sobbing in His presence asking Him for a healthy child. I will tell you that God never assured me that Thomas would be healthy, just that He was in control. That and that alone is what gave me peace.

So at 37 weeks, though God owed us nothing, He gave us a 9 lb healthy baby boy. What a blessing he is to us. Next time perhaps I will blog about his name....oh how I love the gospels telling of "doubting Thomas".


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