Change is hard for me. It sneaks up on my world every time, and I tend to not see its' relentless, approaching march for two reasons. One is that I am far too disorganized and scatterbrained to know that the day has come for change to happen. It is that phone call coming in on the line where you look at the Caller ID, and it jolts your memory that you are supposed to be somewhere other than in your house answering the phone. The second reason change is often a surprise is that I tend to simply ignore the reality of its presence with an "ignorance is bliss" kind of attitude. If I pretend it's not happening, and I pretend I don't feel it's presence, then perhaps 'change' isn't really staring right at me.
The end of the school year is upon us. I have longed for the days of summer for several months now. The ease of not having to load three children into the car for carpool at 7:25, or not scrambling to find something edible in my pantry to throw in a lunch box and call nutrition, and not having to endure the torture of learning to phonetically code a word during homework every night... it's things such as these that I have been waiting on. I have anticipated this time, and now the time has come. The marching troops of change have finally arrived on my doorstep, so why was I fighting a lump in my throat as I read Ella's last newsletter of the year?
Could it be that the joy of living is in the mundane, everyday moments of life? Could it be that to deny yourself the gift of packing lunches is to miss the face of God entirely? I think so. I think it is a lie that we believe all year, "oh if I can just make it to fall break, then there will be down time". Or "once we get to Christmas break, then we can all relax and enjoy our time together". Or "once summer is here, things will seem less hectic". It's nothing but a lie. It speaks against Truth that tells us "this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24. The verse speaks nothing of only rejoicing in the day, if you don't have to drive carpool. The Liar comes to deceive and rob us of the joys that come with a car packed full of children on their way to school. He would like nothing more then for us to live out our days looking for what tomorrow might bring us. What a thief He is.
As I read Ella's final newsletter I smiled as I saw her memory verse for this week "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23. It's strange, there is no mention of anticipation or anxiousness here, and yet I live out so many of my days pretending as though that is the spirit that is alive in me. I know that ultimately the Spirit of Truth will be the one that prevails, but along the way we grow weary fighting battles that we were not meant to fight. For the love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self control of the Spirit has already slain the anxiousness and anticipation of the Deceiver. I should really stop returning to the battlefield of what has already been conquered, and just get on to the victory party with those who believe. Because the party banner they have hung reads all the fruits of the Spirit....and they're partying whether I choose to believe and show up or not.Thanks Emily for allowing us to unwrap our gifts here.