Friday, May 21, 2010

One year to go

They come to my house every Wednesday and sometimes I wonder why they do. They are my high school small group of girls from church. I think I am supposed to be doing profound things with them like reading the Bible from cover to cover, or at the very least the New Testament. Or maybe I am supposed to be giving them solid, biblical advise on life for all their struggles. Or maybe I am just supposed to be providing them with a place to get together and fellowship. I think my job falls somewhere between the lines of all these things, but it doesn't really matter because I am not sure I ever really accomplish any of it. It seems as though, regardless of my preparation or lack there of, sometimes I feel God really move, and then other times I just wonder why they drank all my milk without asking. Sometimes in the middle of discussion we all end up praying on our knees, and then sometimes Jesus isn't mentioned once and they end up in my bathtub playing dress up in my clothes. This high school ministry thing is a mystery. It is based around relationships and hormones and attitudes and a God that himself is a mystery. It is a humbling roller coaster of emotions. Some days I feel hopeless over them and then some days I get so excited to see God's hand in their lives.

They are Juniors now, so that means two things: I have known them for three years and I only have one year left. I wonder how I will feel when they are gone? I hope I will feel it has been worth every one's time, but I fear I will wonder what the heck we accomplished over the past four years. Please don't think I am fishing for a pep talk or some stamp of approval that I am doing a good job...I am not seeking that, I'm just pondering the mystery that is high school ministry. I know that I will miss them. I will miss the innocence of them, the beautiful jewels of Jesus' crown that they are, even though they don't know it...and refuse to believe me when I tell them. Maybe by the end of next year I can convince them of it, maybe. I am not holding my breath though, because I cannot even convince them to stop drinking all my milk.

Amy

10 comments:

Sugar and Spice Mommy said...

Oh Amy! This is soooo cute! I also teach high school girls at our church. I have 9th graders (well I guess they are offically 10th graders), so this is my first year with them. I totally get where you are coming from. Bottom line you are establisihing a relationship with them and through that I am sure they see Jesus!:)
HAve a great day!

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i love this post!!! i volunteered in youth ministry for several years and it rocked! i too, felt a lot like you - it is amazing to see how the Lord works through you - even in those dress up in the bathtub moments! it's evident that you have a heart for these sweet gals and i hope this next year is the best ever!

Billy Coffey said...

It seems to me that now more than ever, teens need adults in their lives who they can look up to and feel comfortable with. You're providing a necessity for them. And I'm glad to see you're being just as blessed as they are.

sassy seamstress said...

this photo does not even look real...it should be in a magazine! Love it!

Between You and Me said...

what a gift to have a front row seat in their lives....

Lana K. W. Austin said...

I know you don't want a pep talk....so this is NOT a pep talk, nope, not at all. Just a reality check. The reality is that youth are soooo prone to the world ripping them to shreds. The facts are that those teens who don't come to Jesus before they go to college probably never will. The facts, the reality, harsh and cold, is that many of these girls, even if they seem to have great lives, are probably suffering deeply. Actually, despite having seemingly perfect lives on the surface, I bet that ALL of these girls have episodes of suffering deeply because IT IS A FALLEN WORLD.

That's the reality.

So, no this isn't a pep talk. This is the reality of the fact that you, whether you know it or not, whether you see any tangible changes now or now, well, you are being Christ's hands and feet to them. A mentoring relationship that you're providing them may model for them what true Christianity is about more than they will ever get in the actual church or even in their loving homes because girls have fragile, delicate hearts that get trampled on and they need someone objective, NOT their mom, to tell them that they are God's child and worthwhile.

So the reality, NOT a pep talk, is that what you do, EVEN IF THEY STILL DRINK ALL THE MILK WITHOUT ASKING, is that you are a huge facet of the real Jesus in their life and they WILL be profoundly changed by your time...and with you being a busy mom of 3 (and with a puppy no less!!!!) your TIME is the MOST PRECIOUS thing you can give them.

They can't articulate their gratitude or how they've been affected by your actions and gifts, but they intuitively know that it is immense.

God bless you,
Lana

Michelle said...

Amy...

I love your blog and this posted hit home with me! I have been meeting with a group of ninth grade girls, every week of the school year. I often wonder what they are getting out of our lessons. I would love to know what sort of materials you are using to plan your lessons. I do believe in my heart that my faithfulness to serve a lesson and breakfast every week is somehow impacting them... and I have no expectation of ever truly knowing what this Bible study means to them and I am okay with that. I just want to be using their time well!Thanks!

The Scooper said...

I bet they're thinking they want to be you when they grow up. : )
I used to lead a small group of college girls once a week. One of them is a mommy of 2 now. I directed another one's wedding this year. I don't remember anything I told them and too often we digressed and giggled over boys and crazy roommates. But now they tell me stuff they learned, stuff they still remember, stuff that is actually profound. I just feel humbled and grateful that God blessed any of it. You put it well. It truly is a mystery.

They are so lucky to have you!

Woodard Gang said...

Love your post Amy...and I too have been involved in our high school ministry. We taught a group from 10th-12th grade and still to this day have some solid relationships with them! Some are married and some have kids...it's crazy how fast time goes!
I'm excited for the fall b/c I am going to be leading a college girls Bible study and this year I have had a group of 6th graders...lol!
The picture of your girls in your tub playing dress up is PRICELESS!

Jewel said...

I really appreciate this post. I'm about to start a junior high girl small group and I'm kind of nervous. I like what you said about your job coming in between the lines of all that stuff. I think that's so true and just be a consistant presense in the lives of those girls is more than you know I'm sure. Very cool.

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