Stopping Time

Dear Ella and Caroline,

I believe without a doubt that I will never enjoy you two more than I do right now. Your very wise Big Pop says that the best age of a child is the one they are right now, at this very moment. I believe him, I want to believe him, I really do, but what else could be better than two daughters that are 4 and 6. What will I do when I am no longer awakened every night by a 4 year old coming into our room to announce that she is going to go to the bathroom (as if she needed permission at 2 am)? What will I do without a 6 year old who every night during prayers wants to know what the "game plan" is for tomorrow? What will I do when I no longer have a 4 year old who tells me she cannot clean up because she is a "teeny tiny baby, and teeny tiny babies do not clean up"? What will I do when I no longer have a 6 year old who tells me "I just feel like I can't stop hugging you today mommy"? What will I do without a 4 year old who wants to say the blessing every night at dinner, but then says she can't, so she instead follows the lead of her father and says everything he prays? What will I do without a 6 year old who pushes back the little girl who just pushed her little sister out the way, and then looks across the room at me and smiles proudly at how she just stood up for her little sister? What will I do without two little girls that let me dress them alike and put pink bows in their hair? What will I do without the giggles and the screaming that I hear coming from the upstairs playroom everyday? What will I do without two little girls to watch out my back window catching fireflies?

The time is approaching. It is happening so fast it almost takes my breath away. I feel is coming like a freight train. I see the way those little hands that used to have a baby feel have a little girl feel. I see how your faces are changing from that of a toddler and preschooler to that of little girls. I hear the way the questions are changing from simple to more complex. The desires of your heart are turning just a bit....you are just starting to think about what else is there...what is going on outside the doors of our home. Stop time! Stop! I am not ready! It wasn't long enough, and I will never get it back...just a little while longer...please. Please!

Though time will not stop, I do still have today....and for that I am grateful.

I love you both more than words could express....

Mom