Sunday, November 21, 2010

The One within the pages

I wasn't kidding last week when I told you I was struggling. Oh how serious I was being with you...and I'm still struggling. My Mom called last week and said "I can tell you are about to lose it". She is a few hundred miles away, but she can still tell when her daughter is about to come undone. But there is something surprisingly therapeutic about writing (especially when you feel called to it), and I always feel a little less crazy after expressing my feelings here. Even more so when I hear back from someone that says they are in the exact same place. It's not a "misery loves company" kind of comfort, so much as it is a "you have a friend next to you treading water" kind of comfort. There is hope in that. There is comfort in not feeling like the only one. My girl Jill (that I have grown to adore through this world of blogging), wrote to me in response to my disturbing admission that I sometimes consider putting down my dog and said "if it makes you feel any better, almost daily I consider having my dog put to sleep and then strategically laying her in the road like she got hit by a car. You are not alone" . I laughed every time I thought of that the rest of the day. Tell me you do not love her! Her dog recently brought her the leg of a deer, and then she had to play tug of war with him to get it out of the his mouth. Now that is a woman who deserves to wrestle with thoughts of wanting to put her dog to sleep for bad behavior.

This comfort of "there is someone right next to you treading water", is what I love about the Word of God. There isn't a feeling that I am experiencing that cannot be ministered to somewhere within those pages. From start to finish, that Book is packed full of comfort and encouragement. I have been telling you in recent weeks that I am currently studying both the lives of Moses and Esther. I always fall in love with the characters that I am studying in the Word. The first time this happened to me was when I was studying Abraham. I went into that particular study, dreading it a little (because how exciting could Genesis really be), and I came out on the other side of the study unable to get enough of it. At that particular season of my life, I could so identify with the struggles in that first book; and at this particular season of my life, I can so very much identify with Esther and Moses.

And what I find time after time is that at the root of it all, when you trace the source of the comfort back to it's origin, I always find that the One in which I am actually identifying with, is the One that wrote the story. It's not necessarily Moses' screw up, and his fleeing Egypt that I find comfort in; but rather the One that He met when he finally collapsed in the desert at The Well (Exodus 2:15). It's not Esther's great dilemma that encourages my heart to trust, but rather the One that was in the heavenlies orchestrating the entire course of events above her. His Name is the One that brings the comfort through struggles. It's the way He faithfully ministers to the ones within the pages that illustrates His character, and begs me to come and rest, and to trust that time is in His hands.
Amy

9 comments:

linda said...

You are certainly ministering thru your blog to others. I am a mother of 2 - 15 and 8. God sent ours late in life but, what a blessing! Somedays I feel I will not make it to do one more homework or one more project. But, by the Grace of God I do see the next one. Thank you for your blog it is so nice to know that we mom's are not alone in our struggles that other christian mom's are struggling also trying to be a great mom - great wife - great Friend and mostly a great woman of God and hoping that she is not failing. That gives us hope. Blessings, Linda Marsh, Ocala, Florida.

Janine said...

Shew Amy. So beautifully said. Your writing has a way of touching many hearts. I love how He responds to our honesty. Sending you a whole lot of love xxx

PS - I can't stop giggling at your friends comment about her dog! And the mental picture of her wrestling with the whole deer leg thing ... oh my goodness! She's one brave soul!!!

New Every Morning said...

He has been glorified through your weakness and others are being encouraged because of your honesty. You are a blessing to me and so many other women.

"Playing tug of war with a deer leg" just gave me the mental picture to make it through the rest of the day with a smile on the corner of my lips. :)

Jill said...

Oh Amy-girl! I wish you could've seen the look of shock on my face when I read my name on your blog! AHHHHHHH! HAHAHAHA!!! It made my day to know that something little ol me said made you feel better. I have to say, lately I have been in rare form, as well. Yes, I'm sitting here rowing along in the same little boat with you. One of my favorite songs right now is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts and my favorite line is: Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through your hands. That is what I try to remember when times are tough. God knew it would happen, and he still let it happen, so I will get through it as best as I can. Here's hoping things get much better for you VERY soon! :-)

edie said...

sending you love and prayers and wishing you peace from the One who loves us in our heartache.
always grace,
edie

Samantha said...

So happy to find kindred spirits. What is about these dogs??? All I can say is, "I know!" You and Jill make me smile- I am treading water with you!

Cindy at Some Really Neat Stuff said...

So true. Thank you.

Between You and Me said...

Amy...I LOVED this!!! I'm so sorry that you are in the midst of a real struggle....our moms do know us well, don't they!

praying for you...grace and grace and more grace...

Between You and Me said...

and trusting that you KNOW that this girl is treading water with you....we are all in this together!

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