My sister called from a store the other day to read me a sign that she was standing in line to purchase. It said "Chaos, Panic, Destruction...my work here is done". We laughed because it is the story of our lives. Do you ever feel like there is anything you ever really do where at the end of it you say, "well that was easy". Or is it just us? Are we the only ones that live life a little more on the "frazzled side" than the "put together side"? I do this in everything. When I paint, when I make dinner, when I write, when I drive carpool...even in bible study I tend to over analyze, over think, over struggle.
All this frazzledness leads me to painting. I've been painting a lot lately and I love it. I love painting kid's stuff, nothing fancy, nothing trained, just basic kid's room kind of art. I don't know why I love it, I just love it. I have no real reason to paint, I just so enjoy the creating part of it all. But then the time comes when I'm done with the painting. My husband always says, "so what are you going to do with it?". I always look at him with this bewildered look on my face as if that is a dumb question and say "I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do with it". Is that normal? Cause I kinda think it's not. In a perfect world, I would give my art away as gifts to people, to friends. But then comes the over analyzing. What if they don't like it? Then what are they gonna do with it? I can picture them stuffing it away in a closet somewhere, and then as soon as they see me walk up the drive way, they frantically run through the house to go hang it up on a wall as if it had been there all along. Isn't that the most horrible thing you have ever heard?!? That makes my skin crawl. I couldn't do that to people. They are innocent of course, they didn't ask me to paint anything for them. So instead I just stack them in a corner of my house and let them collect dust. Which is okay because the only reason I paint is because I enjoy it so much. But then the voice of reason starts saying, "this really is too time consuming of a hobbie for you to just stack paintings in the corner, there is just really no point". So then I do the practical thing and go through a period of time where I put my paints and brushes away, close the door to my craft room, and I paint nothing. But here is the problem...I really want to go back in that room and paint some more. Do you think I should check myself in somewhere? Do you wish you hadn't just spent the last three minutes reading this post? I so like all you blogger friends of mine on the other side of this monitor that keep coming back :).